Woman gets promoted to senior project manager, gets upset when fiancé tells friends she can't handle the pressure: 'You know how anxious you get'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Nov 21, 2025 9:00 AM EST

A relationship that isn't supportive is not really a relationship at all.

For many, one of the main benefits of having a romantic partner is that they make their life better in all possible aspects. They are there to support you during the hard times and to be the first to champion your successes when things are looking up. If they prove incapable or unwilling to do either of these things, it can leave somebody thinking whether their relationship is actually in their best interests.

It is an unfortunate reality that those in relationships often experience these kinds of disappointments, and they can become the grounds for major arguments. Sometimes a partner might have a good reason for giving the best support that they can, but more often than not, this kind of behavior reveals opinions and behavior patterns that are only likely to cause more problems as time goes on.

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  • In cases like these, it is preferable to catch these unhealthy patterns before the relationship becomes too serious. One woman was left doubting how her fiancé felt about her following his reaction to her big promotion at work. Initially, he had wanted to celebrate by taking her out to dinner, but then he joked in front of friends that she wouldn't be able to handle the pressure of the added responsibility. 

    After she questioned him about it, he insisted that he was worried about her burning out. She felt like he had underestimated her, as well as displayed a prejudiced attitude. She looked for a second opinion on the matter.

  • My fiancé told his friends I’m ‘not built for stressful jobs’… after I got a promotion.

    I (30F) work in project management. It's fast- paced, deadline-heavy, and honestly? I'm good at it. Last month I got promoted to senior PM. It's a big deal at my company. My fiancé (33M) congratulated me and took me out to dinner. All good.
    via Strong_Shape8973
  • But last weekend, we were at a small gathering with his childhood friends. One of them asked how my job is going, and my fiancé jumped in before I could answer:
    via Strong_Shape8973
  • "She's doing well, but I told her she shouldn't push herself too hard. She's not built for high- stress roles." Everyone laughed. I just sat there stunned.
    via Strong_Shape8973
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  • I pulled him aside later and asked what that was about. He said: "Relax, it's just a joke. You know how anxious you get."
    via Strong_Shape8973
  • Except... I don't. I get overwhelmed sometimes like any adult, but I function just fine. Later that night he doubled down, saying he "worries I'll burn out" and that "some women don't thrive in intense work environments."
    via Strong_Shape8973
  • I told him his comments were sexist. He said I was being dramatic and "ruining the mood." Now he's sulking because I told him I don't appreciate being framed as fragile in front of people. Is this a red flag? Or am I overthinking it?
    via Strong_Shape8973
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  • manxbean You're not overthinking it. He's projecting. You sure you want to marry someone with an inferiority complex who feels he needs to speak for you and over you?
    via manxbean
  • Fancy_Box_3916 Sounds like he's intimidated by you & reacting by trying to put you down
    via Fancy_Box_3916
  • Automatic-Lychee-301 if my partner said that abt me in front of ppl??? i'd be packing my lil emotional suitcase
    via Automatic-Lychee-301
  • Adventurous-Top-2018 u didn't ruin the mood, he ruined the whole energy by tryna act like ur success is fragile. huge red flag
    via Adventurous-Top-2018
  • CocoaAlmonds Rock Look at your relationship as a whole. Is this an anomaly or part of a pattern? Honestly, to me he sounds jealous. You got the promotion. You got the attention. He's bringing you down, rather than celebrating you -- and he's annoyed you're calling him out on it. Is he in a lower job? Did he not get promoted? Is there anything like that going on? Maybe it's a one off, and he really was joking (badly). Okay. But he didn't apologize. Is THAT a pattern? Is it a red flag? Yes. Is it
    via CocoaAlmondsRock
  • Straight-Example9126 He's feeling insecure about your promotion. He's using sexist comments to pull you down. The company wouldn't have promoted you if you were weak or couldn't handle stressful environments. Be point blank and ask if he feels insecure because of your promotion. Do you make more than him now? If fumbled and gets defensive, be open and tell him that you wouldn't have been promoted if you couldn't handle stressful environments. Tell him that you understand that owing to his tradit
    via Straight-Example9126
  • Agrarian-girl So you're with a guy who has to tear you down to make himself look better. Think about that
    via Agrarian-girl
  • OkTension2232 Getting stressed, or even anxious in a high stress position doesn't exactly make you not built for it. The only way you're 'not built' for any position is if you end up being incapable of filling that position without at minimum a serious detriment to your physical or mental health, and stress is a normal part of any important job. I'm sure if he ever had anxiety at any job he had he wouldn't say he's 'not built for it'.
    via OkTension2232
  • dydrmwvr You already know the answer. Don't let some insecure jackass with a fragile ego spin a false narrative to dim your light. Has he behaved this way before in other situations? Also just another tangent to consider -even if you needed support or showed vulnerability, or had anxiety this person is supposed to create a safe space for you to just be and process, not make jokes at your expense.
    via dydrmwvr
  • Paindepiceaubeurre Look up negging, because that's what he's doing. A good partner will celebrate your wins, not try to knock you down a peg. As an example, I got a promotion a couple of years ago that increased my salary by 30%, meaning that I now earn over twice more than my husband. He was super proud of me and super excited about what that meant for our family. That's how someone who cares about you will react to your success.
    via Paindepiceaubeurre

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boyfriend promotion manager work friends relationships argument reddit thread Reddit fiancee
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